True Funny Exam Answers

"It’s not that I’m fick, but I just don’t get it yeah" (1)



It’s hard to believe these exam answers are true, I know standards are slipping but…

They do seem very funny though


  • Q: Name the four seasons.
  • A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

– Presumably also the inspiration of Vivaldi (don’t forget the Ketchup)


  • Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be
    made safe to drink.
  • A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

– (dead sheep could really block your tap)


  • Q: What happens to your body as you age?
  • A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.


  • Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
  • A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.


  • Q; Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
  • A: Premature death.

  • Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
  • A: Keep it in the cow.

(can’t argue with that)


  • Q: What does the word "benign" mean?
  • A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.



  • Q: What is a turbine?
  • A: Something an Arab wears on his head.

(to keep him cool in the desert ?)



  • Q: What is a Hindu?
  • A: It lays eggs.


(1) I saw this on "Have I got News for You" 10th june 2006. They also featured some other funny exam answers similar to 

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